Croatia and other Catastrophes

Dateline Dubrovnik, Croatia

Monday, 8th September, 2025.

Series 2 Episode 12

It’s been a while since we last checked in and quite a lot has happened since then. Most of it good, some of it very good, but, there is always a but, there have been some issues along the way. One of these issues has made me stop for a moment and ask myself such questions as “Am I getting too old for this shit? Is the Universe trying to tell me something? Should I perhaps find a slightly less hazardous pastime, like knitting or origami?” I hesitate to respond “Over my dead body” lest the Universe accept the challenge but maybe I need to recalibrate my tolerance to risk or at the very least my willingness to expose others to risk. Let me explain.

We have spent a day sight seeing around some beautiful old towns in northern Switzerland. It is raining heavily and we are looking forward to hot showers and dinner at our very cosy Airbnb when I completely misread the road surface at an intersection and we find ourselves having a little lie down on the footpath. Result, Sally a bruised and painful wrist, elbow and knee, bike, minor scratches on the crash bar, me dog house still! The upshot of all this is Sally cannot bend her leg far enough to sit on the bike for several days at least. This is a problem as we have to be in Venice in three days to join the crew from Compass Expeditions for our Mediterranean and Balkans tour. If we can just get her to Venice she can sit in the support van till the knee recovers sufficiently to sit on the bike. After exhausting all possible combinations of planes, trains and automobiles it emerges that the only viable alternative is to hire a car, bundle her in the back, drive to Venice and check her into a hotel, then turn around and drive all the way back to Wil in Switzerland, drop off the car, pick up the bike and ride back to Venice. This is a three leg trip totalling 1,600 km over mountain passes and in nightmare traffic. The final leg sees me ride non-stop for just over seven hours, arriving at the hotel at 2.30am. At least the traffic has eased by now.

A day of rest ensues, followed by a bus ride into the old city and the obligatory gondola ride around the Grand Canal and a few side canals. Our Gondolier is a wealth of information and keeps us enthralled with stories of the many families that make up the fabric of Venetian society all while patiently answering all our dumb questions. Later we meet our Compass companions at a fabulous converted five star mansion. Due to some last minute cancellations, what was going to be a small group has been depleted to just three bikes including myself, Ian from Sydney and Carlo our fun loving Italian guide who is going through the nerve-wracking process of applying for Aussie residency (Note to Immigration Department LET HIM IN! NOW!) We also have Jarrod our affable Aussie support driver who will be Sally’s constant companion for the next ???? days.

Our first morning on the bikes and the die is immediately cast as Carlo sets of in the lead with typical Italian flare and gusto. Ian gives spirited chase while I settle into my routine of looking at the scenery while bumbling along at my own pace.

Sally and Jarrod do the best they can to follow but the traffic is not conducive to rapid progress in a 7.5 tonne van. By day’s end we are in Pisa with it’s slightly wonky tower having basically crossed the entirety of northern Tuscany in the process and stopping in several ancient villages for coffee or lunch and to take photos.

The following day we catch a three and a half hour ferry ride to Corse (Corsica) where we stay for three nights. This fascinating French island, which was once home to Napoleon, is made up of extraordinary mountains seemingly thrown up by the gods of ancient times in a fit of rage and left there for man to try to tame. For centuries people have tried to beat this alien landscape into subservience but it seems that now, maybe a truce has been called and rather than try to defeat nature the locals have invited outsiders in to view nature’s beauty in all it’s glory.

And it truly is stunning. Getting around the island is an experience that must be attacked with due caution however as the roads are very narrow, steep, bordered by cliffs on one side and if you’re lucky a low stone wall on the other. The surface is often broken and blind corners abound. Animals like donkeys, dogs, goats, pigs and cattle roam freely just to keep you on your toes.

How Jarrod manages to get that van around here is a mystery to me.

Early on our second day here I manage to lose sight of Carlo and Ian in some traffic. By the time I realize that I am probably lost it is too late to turn back. After stopping at a couple of cafes to see if I can use their wifi only to be met with stern head shaking I give up trying to contact the group and instead program in the co ordinates for the hotel and head there. Two hours after I message my apologies to them they arrive and give me the giant serve I have coming to me. Two beers later and they have all forgotten about it, but I can’t help beating myself up for the stress I must have caused them, especially Sally.

Back in Italy after three marvellous days on Corse and we are in Rome where Carlo meets up with his girlfriend, engineer and adventurer, Adelle. We have a five hour walking tour of this ancient city scheduled but Sally’s leg is not up to it so we hire an electric wheel chair to aid her progress.

Have you ever tried to drive one of those things? It is almost impossible without days of practice even on smooth roads, let alone the cobble stone streets of Rome. We manage to get around most of the really big ticket attractions like the Colosseum, Pantheon, St Peter’s Square Spanish Steps, Trevi Fountain and the many other fountains, statues and monuments of the city.

There is so much to see here that a day doesn’t even scratch the surface. Sally’s ordeal with the chair is beginning to ware her down and after the umpteenth near miss with other pedestrians and a few near crashes off the sidewalk, she finally loses it. She struggles up out of the chair and stomps off (well as good as she can stomp  with a very stiff knee) muttering obscenities under her breath.

Another day, the wheel chair a distant nightmarish memory and we are in Sorrento, beautiful Sorrento after a couple of hours spent exploring the ruins of Pompei which is perhaps the most unique archaeological site in the world as the entire city was preserved under a 15 m layer of ash after the cataclysmic eruption of Mt Vesuvius in 79 AD. It wasn’t actually the ash that killed all the people but the extreme heat of the blast estimated to be around 1000 degrees C. The ash just preserved everything exactly the way it was for centuries until it was rediscovered in the 18th century. Subsequent excavation of the site is on going and will be for years to come. It is honestly about the most interesting place we have ever seen.

That night in Sorrento we sit in a cliff top bar, watching the sunset over the Bay of Naples and sipping a suitable aperitif. There must have been something powerful in that drink as a couple of hours later we are waltzing in the street to the tune of “It’s a Moray” being played on the accordion by a street busker.

A day later and we are on the Isle of Capri, home of the beautiful people. In fact all of Italy is populated by the image conscious. Hair and makeup truly are an art form here as are the body hugging designer clothes strategically exposing just the right amount of perfectly tanned cleavage. The shoes must only be from this season’s collection and the jewellery should always be understated. The women take some pride in their appearance too. All jokes aside it is fair to say that Capri is one of the most fashionable places in the world and serves as a holiday home for many celebrities. We take a chair lift to the highest point and a boat ride around the coast, marvelling at the natural beauty of the island and allowing ourselves to dream just for a moment what it must be like to live in one of the super luxurious mansions that dot the coastal cliffs.

Back on the mainland and the next morning sees us riding the Amalfi Coast. The road as always is fabulous as it twists and turns itself almost inside out, hugging the coastal cliffs. The traffic however is chaotic, as it has been for most of Italy. We stop in the town of Amalfi itself for coffee but even parking the bikes is nearly impossible. First the police tell us we can’t park there, then he says it’s OK, then he instructs us to move over there. Then along comes a bus driver who threatens to call the cops. There is much shouting and waving of arms when finally we give up and move on.

Our lunch stop for the day was meant to be in a highway diner but it looks pretty terrible so Carlo, aided by Google finds a nearby authentic Italian family owned restaurant. What a find! This is proper Italian traditional cooking just like Mama used to make. Our host is the life of the party as he flits from table to table entertaining his guests as if they are all family. We are first to arrive at opening time and within ten minutes not a seat is vacant and everyone is eating, drinking, talking and laughing along with everyone else.

We hate to leave but leave we must as we have yet another ferry to catch from Bari to Durres in Albania, a nine hour overnight voyage but not before we stop off briefly in the town of Matera. It is a beautiful old town sitting spectacularly on the edge of a cliff over looking a massive canyon, and rumoured to be the inspiration for the White City in Lord of the Rings.

After the smoothest ferry ride ever we arrive in the dusty industrial town of Durres, Albania. The weather is hot, the roads are poor and the traffic is horrendous. Sally and Jarrod are stuck in the one spot for many hours waiting for an accident scene to be cleared but the three of us on the bikes manage to slip by and make a bee line for the border and quickly cross into Montenegro. Jarrod is finally able to extricate the van from the scrum and a few hours later he and Sally join us at a very comfortable mountain top hotel in Monte Rosa.

The road out of Monte Rosa the next day is another one of those roads that defy description. The nearest I can come is to compare it to the Lysebotn Rd in Norway as described in the last Episode.

It is a non stop series of I don’t know how many hairpins on a road barely wide enough for one car yet it has two way traffic consisting often of tourist coaches. Again I am in awe of Jarrod’s patience in getting that van down the mountain and so thankful that they made it safely.

From Montenegro we cross the border into Croatia and hug the coastline into the beautiful southern city of Dubrovnik where we put our feet up for a couple of days. We catch up on some laundry, do some emails, spend a morning exploring the fascinating “old city” which dates back to Roman times and possibly beyond, and I finally get round to sitting at the laptop to belt out this post. I hope you haven’t fallen asleep yet.